Divorced dads need to be very careful how they introduce their lovers. If they have children, the kids always come first.
They will need to be sure that their new lover is more than just a hook-up. It won’t do either of them any good for them to have their children meet a casual lover or a friend with benefits.
1. Be honest.
Unless you have your own kids, it will be difficult to understand what a single dad goes through. He probably has a life full of commitments that don’t include you and he might spend more time with his children than with you. If you notice he is jealous of your friends or that you have to schedule dates around his kid’s sports activities, it might be a good idea to slow down and let him find himself again before you move into a long-term relationship.
Most divorced dads don’t want to rush into a relationship or try to glom onto the first woman they meet and force her into the role of stepmom. They have a lot to process and their self-esteem might be taking hits. It is important for them to become whole before they can have a great relationship and sex, but some people think you should be able to get sex with a guy who has kids. They don’t realize that forcing intimacy before he is ready can lead to a lot of heartache in the long run.
2. Be yourself.
Divorced dads have a lot on their plate, including parenting their kids. Nights out might be interrupted by dinner and homework, or movie dates might be scheduled weeks in advance to make sure there’s time for child care.
He may feel like he’s in the third wheel at first, but it won’t last long. If he’s constantly complaining about his ex or talking about her like a friend, that’s a red flag. If he treats you as a stepchild or acts controlling, that’s a red flag too.
Liberated sex is great, but it’s not a replacement for a strong emotional connection. It takes time to build a solid foundation in a relationship, and you’ll want to focus on making that connection as deep as possible.
If you’re dating a divorced dad, you’ll have to decide whether or not you want children in the mix. Be ready to give it a try, but don’t force it if you’re not ready. Forcing a bond can lead to resentment and misunderstandings that will harm everyone in the long run.
3. Be patient.
When a man is divorced, he may be hesitant to jump back into the dating game because of his children. This doesn’t mean that he isn’t serious about you, but that he needs to find a balance between his kids and your relationship. He will need to schedule date nights and sexy time with you weeks in advance to accommodate his custodial arrangements. He will also need to ensure that his children are well taken care of, so his weekends and other free time might be spent on homework help or soccer games.
The fact is that divorced dads have a lot of emotional baggage and scar tissue. They probably spent months or years in a therapist’s office trying to save their marriage and sorting through the skeletons that might have been hidden behind closed doors. It’s not uncommon for this experience to make them skittish about relationships and wary of committing again. He will need to process his feelings and emotions before he is willing to take the risk of getting hurt again.
4. Be kind.
Many divorced dads have been hurt by their ex-spouses and may have a hard time trusting others. It’s important to show them courtesy and respect. Do not talk about their ex or make fun of them.
Be ready to be flexible and reschedule dates when there’s an issue with the kids or work. He may have to take care of a sick child or attend an emergency school meeting.
Divorced dads often put their children first and they’re not always able to focus on you. If he seems to always choose his kids over you, it’s a red flag that he doesn’t prioritize your relationship.
It’s also not a good idea to force a relationship with his kids. This can lead to resentments and misunderstandings in the future. It’s better to let that bond develop naturally over time. He’ll appreciate that you’re patient and respectful with his kids, so they can feel comfortable around you too. You’ll all be happier in the long run. Great sex doesn’t equal great love, though. It takes time to build a solid foundation.
5. Be honest.
Many divorced dads struggle to find a balance between the desire for great sex and their need to be good parents. They don’t want to fling themselves at the first woman they meet, but they also don’t want to be stuck in the past. That confusion can lead to a lot of disappointments and mishaps, particularly when it comes to dating.
Whether you want casual sex or a serious relationship, you have to be honest about what you are looking for from your partner. If he isn’t willing to take things slow, that might be a red flag. Also be wary of anyone who complains about their ex constantly or makes a million excuses for why they can’t meet up with you.
If you are looking to date a divorced dad, be patient and watch out for any red flags. A man who puts his kids first is probably someone worth getting to know. Unfortunately, Orange County divorce lawyers have seen too many fathers get the short end of the stick in a bad divorce, so be careful not to put your trust in a man who can’t deliver on his promises.
