Loud sex can be fun, but sometimes you want (or need) to have sex quietly. Maybe you’re living with roommates, or you’re trying to avoid waking up the kids or a nosy neighbour.
Luckily, there are plenty of ways to reduce noise during sex without making it less fun or exciting.
White Noise
When you’re crammed into your parents’ guest room, the bedroom of your childhood home or an apartment building with loud neighbours, quiet sex can feel out of reach. But your lovemaking doesn’t have to go cold if you know how to handle it quietly.
If you’re worried about being overheard, start by blocking out as much sound as possible. Try turning on a white noise machine or using ear plugs to create an invisible barrier that muffles sound. You can also make your own sexy white noise by blowing your nose or biting into something like a pillow or a Costco muffin (or, for the real kink, your partner).
Several sexual positions are fairly quiet in and of themselves, without requiring thrusting or cervical impact. For example, a super-slow missionary position is virtually silent, while side-to-side mutual masturbation is very quiet. Also consider a modified version of doggy style, or a spooning position — all of which require less friction and movement, and can be especially effective if mouth-covering is needed.
If your bed is squeaky, skip the mattress and have sex on the floor instead. It’s not as comfy but it’s a lot quieter and feels more intimate. If you can’t get off the bed, put down some blankets to keep it from moving or rattling, and consider using pillows for support.
Pillows
Pillows come in a wide range of shapes and sizes, but the best ones are designed for specific sex positions. Whether you want to bang against a heart-shaped wedge pillow or grind your partner up against a sexy blob, there’s a pillow for every occasion—just make sure the horny sounds are muffled before you bring them to bed.
One of the most popular pillow sex methods is the simple pillow grinding technique. If you have lube and a no-squeak bed frame, a pillow can be the ideal surface for grinding and humping. If you don’t have a sex pillow, you can use a standard pillow or even a pillow case to create friction.
If you’re looking for more clitoral stimulation (it helps to reach orgasm faster), try the coital alignment technique. It involves angling the shaft of your penis against your clitoris to stimulate it and increase pleasure.
For a less expensive option, you can use an orthopedic pillow designed to relieve sleep problems like acid reflux, snoring, or neck pain. These pillows are usually memory foam and have a similar shape to sex pillows, but they’re usually a fraction of the cost. And if you really want to get crafty, there are tutorials for DIY sex pillows that look just as good as built-for-purpose models. (Just be sure to use a washable pillowcase!
Positions
We all love a good sexy time but if you live with roommates, or if your parents are sleeping next door, it’s not always possible to have a wild and woolly bedroom rendezvous. Fortunately, there are quiet sex positions that will allow you and your partner to get intimate without waking the whole house.
Many sexual positions are quiet in general due to minimal movement and friction. However, if you need to be even more discreet, you can try some of these sexy and quiet sex positions, recommended by experts:
A twist on classic missionary position, this involves one person laying down while the other straddles them. This allows for deep penetration without any loud thrusting or noises. You can also bury your face in each other to muffle moans and whisper sexy nothings into each other’s ears – bonus points if you have a sex toy or two to add to the fun.
While doggy style or Missionary are great for sex, they tend to make beds squeak and headboards bang against the wall more than they should. For this reason, it’s usually best to hone your skills with the help of a padded sex chair or the floor. If you need to get sexy in bed, you can try a softer version of doggy style or spooning position, which is also quite effective in terms of reducing impact noise.
Foreplay
Sometimes you want to crank up the volume, but there’s a reason for keeping things quiet. Maybe it’s because you have neighbors, kids or houseguests nearby or your sex space is in a shared home. Or maybe you’re trying out a “A Quiet Place”-themed roleplay. Whatever the reason, quiet sex is doable — and sometimes even more intense than loud sex.
A little foreplay can go a long way. Some experts recommend spending a few minutes making eye contact and breathing deeply to get centered before romping under the sheets. Others say to focus on external pleasures like licking each other’s lips, playing with one another or grinding. And if you need a boost in arousal, try taking a shower or bath together.
You can also skip the bumps and thumps of penetrative sex altogether by focusing on out-of-the-bed positions, like Spooning or Lotus. These positions are easy for newbies to master and require minimal thrusting, which means they’re less likely to cause that mattress squeak. Plus, they’re great for couples who want to keep things quiet. Or, if you really want to have penetration but need to do it quietly, try a variation of the Missionary or Doggy style. The receiving partner lays on their stomach and the penetrating partner lies on top, which allows for deep penetration without the hard impact noise.
